When is the last time you checked-in on someone you care about because you noticed that they were acting differently than normal? Maybe you noticed weight gain or weight loss. Maybe you saw that they weren’t speaking up in meetings anymore. Or they were short with people they normally liked.
The check-in is not a difficult thing to do. For starters, find them where they are. In their office, in their home, in some quiet moment. Find a chair and take a seat. It lets them know that you are there for them, and they are not just a stop along your way to the next thing. Close the door and put away your phone. Outside distractions take away from the quality of the conversation, and you want to make it clear that you are shutting yourself off from outside distractions to concentrate on them. Next, look them in the eye. They may not meet your gaze, but if they do look up, make sure they see that they are the center of your attention. And lastly, ask the question. “How are you?” It’s not a difficult question, and it doesn’t require any special training. But in the setting that you have created, those three simple words will often open the floodgates to whatever that person has been holding back.
If you are worried about a friend or family member, there is probably a good reason. And while you may be wrong and everything may be fine, you’re never wrong to show that you care.
