When is the last time you planned a rare vacation only for the flight to be cancelled? Or tried a new recipe that flopped? Or waited months to see a movie on opening day that ended up not living up to the hype?
Unmet expectations have a very real effect on our mental health, but fortunately for us, they are one of the few factors over which we actually maintain control. Creating unrealistic expectations in our minds of unattainable perfection is a recipe for friction in our relationships, loss of self-esteem, and frustration with others that can contribute to isolation. So how do we set appropriate limits without feeling like we are settling for less than we want?
Well, the key to setting healthy expectations in any endeavor requires asking yourself several questions. Are your expectations respectful of other parties who will need to be involved in your plans? Are they fair and reasonable given the realistic expectations of time, finances, and other obligations? Are they thoughtful and well thought-out? And are they honest? Before setting goals for yourself – or others – make sure you educate yourself on how these plans could be carried out. Speak to those who will be involved, or who have attempted a similar goal in the past to get an idea of potential pitfalls that could de-rail your plans. Make a budget to ensure that pursuit of your goals won’t impose undue challenges on other aspects of your life. Ask yourself why you want to pursue the goal or talk to your friends about it, to make sure that the desired outcome is valid and moves you further along the path to future dreams.
We all want to move forward in life but remember that the path to that future is just as important as arriving at the destination. Make sure you plan for the path you want in a way that maintains your mental health.
