We all know there are four seasons: Spring, summer, fall, my favorite, and winter.
But somehow SWIMSUIT SEASON has been added. My least favorite. Retailers and swimwear manufacturers use the term over and over. Problem is this made- up season means swimwear. Ugh.
When my persuasive friend Sally talked me into taking a water aerobics class with her I knew I’d better get a new swimsuit.
But I couldn’t bear the thought of going to a store and picking something out while a size 2, smooth- skinned, 20 year old sales person was telling me how cute this or that suit would be.
Most women, regardless of size, don’t like the idea of going in a room the size of a closet, getting undressed, careful to NOT look in the mirror, and then shimmying into a swimsuit that makes Spanx seem like a breeze.
The last swimsuit I tried on in a store, I held it up, looked at it, and was sure it could NOT be my size. I was going to be putting my marshmallow body in a drinking straw. Oh Bing, think it over.
But I did get the thing on giving stretch fiber a real test. A gentle knock on the door was met with me screaming, “Don’t come in!”
When I bravely looked in the mirror, I decided to laugh instead of cry. Oh dear. There it was a dark brown one-piece cut high on the thigh. Plain, but it should have had Western details, like fringe or something because it sure showed off my saddle bags.
Not only was the swimsuit a disappointment, but in the ghastly light of the dressing room I looked jaundiced, yellow, or maybe more of a stomach flu green.
It’s important to buy local, but I went home and ordered a swimsuit. A two piece tankini. Don’t think for a moment this suit had anything to do with a BIKINI. The colorful top was long and came down over black swim shorts. All right! Lots of coverage.
I trotted into water aerobics class in my new suit. Once in the pool it was evident that all that coverage came with a lot of fabric. When we did jumping jacks I felt like I was wearing a wedding gown. The top kept floating up and the shorts filled up with water and kept slipping down.
So, back for another swimsuit season, is my old faithful black one-piece. It’s stretched out, faded, comfortable and perfect for Jumping Jacks.
