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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: I sure can. We have Tom at three points. Rox has four. And get this - wait for it. Joel has six points.

SAGAL: All right. Tom, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, 20 Indian soldiers were killed during a border dispute with blank.

TOM PAPA: China.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Albuquerque announced that in place of police, they would use social workers to respond to some blank calls.

PAPA: Domestic calls?

SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you. It's 911 calls.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: But you knew what you were saying. Quaker Foods announced they'd be changing the name of blank just 131 years too late.

PAPA: Aunt Jemima.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, tennis star blank said she'd be willing to play in the U.S. Open despite concerns about the virus.

PAPA: Serena.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Austria are defending their arrest...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...And fining a man for blanking.

PAPA: Farting.

SAGAL: Yes, for farting at them, quote, "with full intent," unquote.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to Austrian police, the man stood up, looked officers right in the eyes and, quote, "let go of a massive intestinal wind, apparently, with full intent." Now he's being fined $500 for offending public decency. Not so nice when we fire the tear gas at you, eh, cops?

PAPA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do?

KURTIS: Tom got five right for 10 more points. He now has 13 and takes over the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: All right.

PAPA: Yes. First time I've ever been in the lead.

SAGAL: Enjoy it for exactly one minute because here comes Roxanne.

PAPA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Here we go, Roxanne. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the Chinese capital blank closed schools as a new outbreak of coronavirus continued to spread.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Beijing.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, PG&E pled guilty to 84 counts of manslaughter stemming from deaths caused by wildfires in blank.

ROBERTS: California.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Senate Republicans unveiled their blank reform bill.

ROBERTS: Their police reform bill.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After complaints from customers and staff, blank reversed the decision banning baristas from wearing Black Lives Matter apparel.

ROBERTS: Starbucks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, park rangers in Dublin warned people not to take selfies with a friendly heron because it may blank.

ROBERTS: Because it might kiss them.

SAGAL: No, because it might stab their eyes out with its beak. On Thursday, Dr. Fauci warned fans that blank may not return this year.

ROBERTS: The NFL.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel was announced as the host for the 2020 blank Awards in September.

ROBERTS: Emmys.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Saying it can relieve some of the pressure from a first date, some people are skipping Tinder...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...And opting for online blank instead.

ROBERTS: Online sex.

SAGAL: Well, you're close. Online nude speed dating. Just like traditional speed dating, people gather in a bar and rotate through a series of three-minute dates. But unlike traditional speed dating, that guy in the corner is supposed to be naked. Many attendees prefer it this way. They've moved it online during the pandemic, saying instead of the same old boring conversations - like how many siblings do you have? - you can discuss more interesting topics - like, hey, is that an appendectomy scar?

JOEL KIM BOOSTER: Let's get our nudist friend back on the phone and see what he says.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do? And don't bend to her wiles.

KURTIS: Roxanne had six right, 12 more points. She now has 16 and the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: All right. Well, you have the lead, as we expected. But how many, then, does Joel need to finally take her down?

BOOSTER: I'm going to blow it. I'm going to choke.

KURTIS: Joel only needs five to win.

SAGAL: All right, Joel. You can do this. Here we go. This is for the game. On Monday, the FDA revoked approval of anti-malarial drug hydroxychloroquine to treat blank.

BOOSTER: COVID-19.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new national poll, blank has expanded his lead over President Trump.

BOOSTER: Biden.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, blank announced a new racial diversity merit badge.

BOOSTER: The Boy Scouts of America.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a sign of rising tensions, North Korea demolished the liaison office it shares with blank.

BOOSTER: South Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Ford announced it would debut the new Ford Bronco on July 9, which also happens to be blank.

BOOSTER: Bronco Appreciation Day.

SAGAL: No, it happens to be O.J. Simpson's birthday. On Wednesday, Reed Hastings, the CEO of blank, announced $120 million donation to historically black colleges.

BOOSTER: Dell.

SAGAL: Netflix. Less than a week after shuttering all their stores...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Window-covering chain Next Day Blinds was mysteriously replaced by blank.

BOOSTER: A curtain store.

SAGAL: 3 Day Blinds. Next Day Blinds have been in the D.C. area for over 30 years before the pandemic forced it to shutter their locations. But only a few days later, most of them reopened as 3 Day Blinds, a California-based company that's been in business since the '80s. It's just like the legend of the phoenix rising from the ashes to become a fatter, slower phoenix. Bill, did Joel do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he got four right for eight more points. He now has 14 - close but no cigar.

BOOSTER: I knew I'd choke.

KURTIS: Sixteen points. Roxanne is this week's champion.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.