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Tanya Tandoc

Tanya Tandoc: No Tricks. All Treats.

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Theresa Thompson, flickr Creative Commons
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There is so much frightening food available these days—like Twinkies, cappuccino flavored potato chips, and genetically modified foods.

Navigating the grocery store is a bit of a horror story on a regular day.

But, today is Halloween, and have some creepy suggestions for your holiday table.

When I was a kid in the seventies, I went to a party dressed as a hobo, like all the other kids.

We stuck our hands into bowls of peeled grapes (eyeballs!), wet and oily spaghetti worms!), and then ate Vienna sausages (fingers!).

It was gross but fun, and we all went trick or treating after, completely free of parental supervision. My parents threw away the apples, because of course they must be filled with razor blades.

We got to eat a few pieces of candy before bed, the good ones, like snickers or kit-kats. The weird peanut shaped marshmallows and the candy corn were only last-resort candy. I preferred anything chocolate. Eyeball grapes and other icky things are totally a thing of the past these days.

I had a fabulous time looking through the internet for creepy-food ideas. One of the very best was a recipe for finger-shaped meatballs with sliced almond fingernails, doused with ketchup.

Another was an entire buffet with a zombie theme, laid out like a human shape, with a roasted cauliflower “brain”, rotini pasta “guts” and other yucky appendages. Sausages played a role. Use your imagination for that.

Ground meat can be formed into all manner of dreadful things, then baked and sauced and be totally freaky. It’s like play dough, but edible.

I’m going to sculpt a brain out of my favorite meatloaf recipe this year!