Inside her comfortable living room, Lola McLaurian, has photos sprawled out on a coffee table.
“[Here are] my three children, Jay is my oldest, Kimberly's the middle and Natalie is my youngest child."
McLaurian describes what it was like when they first placed her son Jay in her arms.
“It was amazing,” she said. “You know, you never think of that much love inside of you and when you see that baby for the first time. After you've carried that baby for nine months, and you know you love that baby, and then to see him, I thought I was going to burst with love.”
She was bursting with love. McLaurian said she adores her son but eventually wanted a daughter.
“We tried and we tried, and we tried to have another child, and we couldn't.”
But 16 years later, McLaurian got a call from her husband, a college counselor, who had just found out about a child up for adoption.
“He called me from school and said, ‘This baby is going to be born, and I want to adopt her.’
“And we had talked about the fact that we wanted a little girl, and so we really wanted a little girl.”
Still, Lola wondered, “How am I going to know this is the baby for me?”
Her fellow teachers prayed for her. Lola says her sister offered her some solace: “’You’re going to have peace, and you’re just going to know.’”
And that’s what happened, one day, when she was pulling into her driveway.
“A peace just came over me from like the top of my head down to my feet, and I knew, I knew that she was supposed to be my little girl.”
The McLaurians had to undergo a series of tests by a social worker and a home inspection to make sure they were fit parents.
“Which is a good thing, because you want to make sure that babies are going to be well taken care of,” McLaurian said. “…It was like testing to make sure that we were okay to become her parents, and we passed!”
Two weeks later, little Kim was placed in her arms.
“So, my husband, at the time, brought her to my school, and the school knew that I was going to get this little girl, and so it was almost like a parade.”
Her family, the principal and teachers all marched into her classroom with a newborn.
“And my students got to see me, hold her for the first time, and she was so tiny, and it was just joyous. It was a joy,” McLaurian said.
A celebration with maternity leave for both parents to bond with their new bundle of joy. Lola says Jay, Kim’s big brother, was also excited about the new baby.
“I feel like I had Kim, because she was so young when I received her as my little girl. So, I'll talk like I had her, like I carried her, because it almost feels like I carried her. So, it's been a blessing.
After two years, McLaurian got another big surprise: “Kim was two years old when I got pregnant with Natalie … it was just a total surprise! …People say that happens, you know, but yes, two years after Kimberly was born, then Natalie comes along, and she's a typical baby girl. She was spoiled, and her sister and her brother were both excited that she was in the world.”
McLaurian said she doesn’t believe in favoring any particular child but says she treats each one of them differently, because they are different.
“Kim is my fun-loving child. Natalie is my serious child, and Jay, if I had to peg him, he would be the responsible big brother.”
McLaurian said children need to feel secure when they are very young and know that you love them unconditionally and she said parents have to be there for their kids.
“I think you also have to be firm,” she said. “I used to say to the kids, ‘I'm not your friend, I'm not your buddy, but I love you more than anything in the world. I love you more than anybody else loves you, and I always will.’”
