Pride Month is bittersweet this year for many in Wichita’s LGBTQ community.
The Kansas Legislature passed several laws targeting transgender residents. A nonbinary musician scheduled to perform at the Sedgwick County Fair was recently subjected to scrutiny after a flood of disparaging social media comments about their gender identity.
But across the city, leaders from different generations are working to create spaces of comfort, hope and acceptance. That includes Dara Thavone, 35, who organizes social events through the group Queer Beers ICT and serves as the fundraising director for Wichita Pride.
“I think the queer community is filled with beautiful, colorful, creative and talented people,” she said. “The more we show Wichita has a thriving community, I think more queer people would come here. We just need to spread the love somehow.”
Jackie Carter, 68, became a pastor at the LGBTQ-affirming church Table of Hope after realizing that many gay and lesbian people had been hurt by faith. She went on to become one of the first Wichita pastors to marry gay couples, and continues to advocate for marginalized communities.
“Part of my work is around making sure that everybody feels included and welcomed. And I think we have moments of getting better,” she said. “As long as we can live in peace and harmony with each other, how wonderful would that be? That’s where I’m trying to go.”
KMUW spoke with Thavone and Carter about their lives and what they’re doing to make Wichita more inclusive. The following is an edited transcript of the discussions.
Dara Thavone: I actually realized I was queer at a very young age. I was playing in the neighborhood playground. I saw my neighborhood crush. I remember her looking at me and [she] asked, ‘Are you a boy or are you a girl?’ And then I quickly hid my painted nails and said ‘boy,’ because that was the only way that I felt that she would like me.
Jackie Carter: I was 22 when I came out to my mom. I was afraid that she would kick me out and not love me anymore — and the absolute opposite happened. She said, ‘I don't know what took you so long to tell me. I’ve known for years.’
Thavone: I hid that part of me for quite some time. I remember being a teenager and always feeling like I was never going to be loved.
My coming out process was actually robbed from me. A co-worker, when I was younger, decided to approach my mom to tell her that I was dating a woman. Luckily for me, my mom was very supportive.
Carter: The Wichita community was not open. There was gay-bashing on the streets. People would hang around outside of gay bars and attack people when they came out.
I helped to establish the Wichita AIDS task force to provide care for gay men who were dying of AIDS. I became very angry at people who said, ‘I love God, but don't bring those contaminated people near me.’
Thavone: I think Wichita is more progressive than we think, but there are pockets of homophobia and transphobia. Right now in the political landscape that we're in, trans people are under attack. And I may not face those issues, but it doesn't mean that the people that I know are not impacted by it.
Carter: With lesbian and gay people, almost all of them have been hurt by faith. So when I began to feel like I was a beloved child of God, it became clear to me that somebody needs to say to this marginalized community that they are in fact beloved by God – so that became my newest mission.
Thavone: I had a colleague that moved here from Pennsylvania, and she'd asked me, ‘How do I meet other queer folks?’ And I really couldn't give her an answer. I had this pipe dream of creating something like Queer Beers, and then I woke up one morning, created a logo and started following breweries — because I knew that they were more LGBTQ-affirming.
Carter: Most of our people that come to church here are marginalized in one way or another. Some of them just have too many tattoos and their church didn’t want them in there anymore. Some of them have been divorced three or four times.
Thavone: I think the big thing is just feeling supported; feeling connected.
Thavone: I think the queer community is filled with beautiful, colorful, creative and talented people. The more we show Wichita has a thriving community, I think more queer people would come here. We just need to spread the love somehow.
Carter: Part of my work is around making sure that everybody feels included and welcomed. And I think we have moments of getting better. As long as we can live in peace and harmony with each other, how wonderful would that be? That’s where I’m trying to go.
