Richard Crowson Commentary

Politicians can run but they cannot hide from political cartoonist (and banjo player) Richard Crowson and his watchdog, Al. Tune in on alternate Wednesdays to hear the latest.

Richard's commentary can also be heard through iTunes. Listen or subscribe here.

Beth Golay / KMUW

Oh, give me a cone where the cars and trucks roam
Where the street work goes day after day
Where often is heard an offensive swear word
And the traffic's stalled every which way

Cones, cones on the road
Making detours necessary each day
Our streets are so bumpy
But repairs make us grumpy
And we gripe cause there's cones in our way

People say Wichita's got the worst streets of all
It's like driving on a washboard we say
But when new pavement's poured
Those orange cones are abhorred
We go cussing and fussing all day

The Wichita Eagle

Three days ago things perked up a bit in the realm behind the “Pearly Gates.” Administrative angels that had become a little lax in their accounting started to sit up a little straighter and pay more attention to their jobs. Ordinary rank-and-file angels became more informed about the ins and outs of celestial politics.

Well, come on, everybody, and let’s play a game
Making up a rhyme from a Trump nick name
All you gotta do is look at his childish tweets
Put a rhyme together and it sounds so sweet
(And there isn’t anybody that Trump can’t insult!)

Crooked rooked mo mooked
Banana bana fo-rooked
Me-mi-mo mooked – crooked!

Slimeball rimeball mo mimeball
Banana bana fo-limeball
Me-mi-mo fimeball– Slimeball!

New York Times!
Failing railing mo mailing
Banana bana fo-railing
Me-mi-mo mailing – failing!

Richard Crowson

Some months ago we decided to add to our family and we adopted a labradoodle. His calm and demure personality at the time caused us to name him Perry. It was in honor of Perry Como, the calm and demure crooner from years ago.

(With apologies to the Monkees…)

I thought privacy online was a given thing
Meant to be a right for you and me
But it was just a daydream
That’s the way it seems
Disappointment haunts my computer screen

Then I saw Facebook, now I’m a non-believer
There’s not a trace, of privacy left
All my data’s been sold, to Cambridge Analytica
I’m just a political loser now

For today’s commentary, I’ve invited an old friend to come in and speak:

Hello, everybody, this is Elvis Presley from down in Memphis, Tennessee. I wanted to say a few words in favor of my good buddy, your Kansas Secretary of State, Mr. Kris Kobach. Mr. Kobach is currently in the process of defending the existence of voter fraud by illegal immigrants. There seem to be a lot of folks out there that think this voter fraud thing is a myth. Well, lemme tell ya, I know a thing or two about myths.

Here’s hoping Governor-Doctor Jeff Colyer will change his mind about a vital topic:

Doctor, there’s people in our state
That need expanded Medicaid, without insurance
What are they supposed to do?
150,000 more
They’re among the working poor who need some help
Doctor, please, won’t you come through?

Doctor Colyer
Kansans are hurting and afraid
They could get a cure if you would expand Medicaid

Maybe I’m weird. But it seems to me there is an awful lot of dystopian entertainment out there these days. Everybody who makes movies that deal with the future seems to think we ain’t seen nothing yet.

Either apes or robots or aliens or cruel gargantuan corporations or, I don’t know, maybe vegans are going to take over. Even the weather’s going to be horrible. Corruption and oppression will reign supreme. Disneyland’s “Carousel of Progress” theme song, “There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow” is going to be replaced by something like “Life Sucks and Then You Die.”

I’m worried about the the Wichita city flag. It’s beautiful. It instills civic pride. And it’s more popular than sliced bread, "Game of Thrones" and cat videos all combined. You can buy t-shirts with the Wichita flag on them at the grocery store. It’s on socks and skateboards and murals. Every other car, mine included, has either a Wichita flag license plate or window sticker on it. Recently there was an unveiling of city street sweepers emblazoned with giant painted Wichita flags.

Oh, my goodness! Can that year finally be over? Whew! Bet you never thought we'd get here! But the good news is we survived!

So many weird and off-the-wall events took place... it just seems like it would never end. So here we are at the start of a brand new year. Let's all raise a glass and cheer the end of that wild and crazy 2018!