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Richard Crowson Commentary

Halloween Costuming Has Never Been Simpler

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With Halloween just a little over a week away, it’s time to start thinking about what sort of scary costumes your family’s trick-or-treaters are going to wear. Fortunately, there are some super simple yet truly frightening trick-or-treating outfits these days.

Say, for instance, you intend to drive the kiddies up to Topeka and have them ring the doorbell of Cedar Crest, where the Brownbacks reside. For a sure-fire, screech-inducing costume, wedge a pencil behind your child’s ear, put some thick glasses on the end of their nose, give them a pocket protector and dig an old-fashioned, handheld calculator out of your home’s junk drawer for them to hold. Nothing should scare the governor more than a child dressed in an accountant’s outfit. The horror of our state’s economic facts and figures, after years of a tanking Brownback economy, should frighten the absolute bejabbers out of old Sam.

Then drive over to Secretary of State Kris Kobach’s home. Use the same costume and have your child pose as a math professor who wants to audit the voting records from the last election. (But bring an umbrella because the sweats going to pop out of Kobach like a horizontal Kansas rainfall.)

Of course, you don’t have to drive out of town to give a good giggly scare. There are Sedgwick County Commissioners that will jump out of their skin if you simply have your child say “trick or treat” with a Spanish accent.

And I bet you know someone that could be terrified if you placed an orange tabby kitten on your child’s head and had them say “trick or treat” with a Donald Trump accent. Halloween costuming has never been simpler than it is this year!