Crowson: Zombies Among Us

Oct 30, 2019

Credit Richard Crowson

I first experienced zombies around 1974 or so. That’s when a Memphis TV station decided to run “Night of the Living Dead.” Scared the bejabbers out of me. If I’d had some 2-by-4s and nails handy, I’d have secured my doors and windows.

How could I have known, all those years ago, that someday our nation would elect a zombie for President? And yet, here we are. That’s how hot zombies are – that we’d actually elect one as president. And this one scares me every bit as much as my first Night of the Living Dead viewing.

What’s the evidence that he’s a zombie, you ask? Just listen. Listen to his tortured syntax and trance-like speech patterns. Same words, over and over, jumbled incoherently to form nonsensical phrases. Trying so very hard to sound like the living.

And remember: zombies consume brains. See those poor soulless individuals that surround him? Any evidence of brain activity amongst them? They have been extracted - conscience, sense of right and wrong. All gone. And just repeating his same words, over and over.

But there is a bright side to all this. We have the perfect president for October 31. Seasonal orange-ness. The nightmarish screech of his ranting tweets. It’s enough to prompt an entire stadium of Americans to get into the spirit of things and let forth with a loud “BOOOOOO!”

For KMUW, I’m Richard Crowson wishing you a happy Halloween.

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