In difficult times, it’s not unusual to be admonished to check-in with those you love. Heat waves, cold snaps, the aftermath of natural disasters, and so on. But what about a mental health check-in?
If you have noticed sudden and drastic behavioral changes in someone important in your life, it may point to a situational mental health need, or it may be the climax of an existing illness. Either way, checking in with them may literally be a matter of life and death. But what does that check-in actually look like?
For starters, put away distractions. Close doors, put your phone in your pocket. In this environment, it is you and them. Nothing else. Second, make it clear that they are your destination, and not a stop along the way to something more important. Sit down and get comfortable. Look them in the eye. They may not meet your gaze, and that’s ok. But when or if they look up, make sure the bond of eye contact is there for them.
And then ask the question. How are you? It’s a simple question. You don’t need to be a therapist or a social worker to ask it. Someone who is struggling with their mental health will tend to be very honest. And creating this environment with them makes them even more prone to tell you the truth.
Be willing and able to take that time and to be that friend. In a dark moment, knowing someone cares enough to demonstrate that you are not alone can make all the difference.
