Richard Crowson Commentary

Politicians can run but they cannot hide from political cartoonist (and banjo player) Richard Crowson and his watchdog, Al. Tune in on alternate Wednesdays to hear the latest.

Richard's commentary can also be heard through iTunes. Listen or subscribe here.

I’ll never forget the evening I performed Chopin’s “Etude in G# minor, Opus 25,” on a $75,000 banjo gifted to me by Earl Scruggs. My concert was a command performance for the Queen of England. During one of 26 standing ovations, it was announced that I had won the Pulitzer Prize for Editorial Cartooning. I had drawn a cartoon that anticipated the calamity of global climate change, resulting in multinational actions which completely ended the climate damage and pretty much saved the world.

“Everybody wants to go to heaven. But nobody wants to die.” I’m not sure which blues singer first came up with that line, but it certainly has the ring of truth. And it sure seems to fit our perpetual fiscal dilemma. In fact, the sentiment could even more specifically be sang this way:

You get used to losing things as you age. Wallets. Cell phones. Even my favorite baseball cap disappeared for a couple of months, then materialized under a couch cushion. (It was found there because my wife had looked under that cushion for my car keys.)

But there’s one vital possession that a person like me should never lose. One of the most treasured tools in the cartoonist’s toolbox is a thing called “a sense of humor.” And mine is gone.

Binge-watching Netflix
And shopping on Amazon
Videos of pet tricks
And following Kardashians
Basketball, football, and Taylor Swift sings
These are my favorite distracting things

When the headlines sound like “end times”
Trump outrages galore
I simply tuck my head down into the web
And distract myself once more

Facebook and X-Box
Twitter and Snapchat
A Googilion new ways to obsess and distract
Back when the Internet was first on the scene
Who knew it’d become a distraction machine?

City of Wichita bean-counters are reportedly considering some cuts at CityArts, our downtown facility that provides arts education and instruction, gallery exhibition space and a small gift shop. But they say it’s too early to get concerned, so I thought I’d just get musical:

“Birds do it. Jerks do it. Let’s do it. Let’s tweet.”

When Cole Porter wrote those lines – OK, the first three words of those lines – he had no idea what sort of world would be wrought here in 2018. Not only do humans tweet, but their tweets make headlines, alter governmental policy and rile international relationships.

Beth Golay / KMUW

Oh, give me a cone where the cars and trucks roam
Where the street work goes day after day
Where often is heard an offensive swear word
And the traffic's stalled every which way

Cones, cones on the road
Making detours necessary each day
Our streets are so bumpy
But repairs make us grumpy
And we gripe cause there's cones in our way

People say Wichita's got the worst streets of all
It's like driving on a washboard we say
But when new pavement's poured
Those orange cones are abhorred
We go cussing and fussing all day

The Wichita Eagle

Three days ago things perked up a bit in the realm behind the “Pearly Gates.” Administrative angels that had become a little lax in their accounting started to sit up a little straighter and pay more attention to their jobs. Ordinary rank-and-file angels became more informed about the ins and outs of celestial politics.

Well, come on, everybody, and let’s play a game
Making up a rhyme from a Trump nick name
All you gotta do is look at his childish tweets
Put a rhyme together and it sounds so sweet
(And there isn’t anybody that Trump can’t insult!)

Crooked rooked mo mooked
Banana bana fo-rooked
Me-mi-mo mooked – crooked!

Slimeball rimeball mo mimeball
Banana bana fo-limeball
Me-mi-mo fimeball– Slimeball!

New York Times!
Failing railing mo mailing
Banana bana fo-railing
Me-mi-mo mailing – failing!

Richard Crowson

Some months ago we decided to add to our family and we adopted a labradoodle. His calm and demure personality at the time caused us to name him Perry. It was in honor of Perry Como, the calm and demure crooner from years ago.