Crowson: A Few Untruths And A Lie

Aug 8, 2018

I’ll never forget the evening I performed Chopin’s “Etude in G# minor, Opus 25,” on a $75,000 banjo gifted to me by Earl Scruggs. My concert was a command performance for the Queen of England. During one of 26 standing ovations, it was announced that I had won the Pulitzer Prize for Editorial Cartooning. I had drawn a cartoon that anticipated the calamity of global climate change, resulting in multinational actions which completely ended the climate damage and pretty much saved the world.

I was emotionally overcome. Not so much by the news as by the Queen’s celebratory response: She had attached a tiny wooden keg (like the ones on St. Bernards) around the neck of one of her little Welsh Corgis and sent it down the aisle to deliver to me a refreshing drink of Chateau Lafite, 1787, which sells for $156,450! (She’s always had a bit of a royal crush on me.)

If you find yourself suspecting I have told a few untruths in this accounting, well, yeah, I have. 14 lies, to be exact.

The Washington Post has tallied 4229 untruths during Trump’s first year and a half, or about 7.5 per day. Today being Wednesday, let me see if I can add enough lies to get over “hump day.” Here goes:

North Korea is denuclearizing; the tariffs are working; all Puerto Rico needed was paper towels; collusion is not wrong; the only real news comes from Fox; Trump is not Vladimir’s puppet; when you’re a star they let you do it. Oh, and America is being made great again.

Woo-hoo! 23 lies! All in 3 days’ worth of work for me and the Prez.

For KMUW I’m Pulitzer Prize-winning, BFF to the Queen, Pinocchio Crowson.

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